Team Tuohy

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I was inspired by a blog I recently read about being "that wife" that resembles a housewife in today's world. It strikes a cord that I so often battle myself. Asking myself if am I "old-fashioned"? Wondering how I can stand firm and be confident in cleaning the house, doing the dishes, making the meals, folding laundry and more in a society that tends to look down upon that. 

Thankfully I am encouraged daily by the women in my life who consistently point not only me back to Christ, but my marriage. I am truly blessed to have this- another beauty of living in community! However, on those days I just need simple truth I try to remember the following:

1. My approval/acceptance does not come from this world, but from Christ. I was just reminded of this in a sermon on Sunday- we are called to "suffer" for Christ. We are suppose to look funny and do things differently for this world is not our home -John 15:18-19 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you." If I belong to this world- I do not belong to Christ, I would rather be persecuted and look funny than to give up my salvation. At the end of the day the world has dramatically changed, however we are still held to the standard of the Word.

2. God intrusts me to use this as an opportunity to honor and glorify Him. A large part of the time these "roles" and equal submission (Ephesians 5:22-33) are why our marriages succeed. Your marriage is your number one ministry for others to see. USE IT! They will see differences in your marriage - as said before here- and when you are asked "why" it is an opportunity to lead them to Him. 

3. It is ultimately not for our husband but for Christ. By doing those things you are submitting to Christ and glorifying Him through it. This is done by taking such wisdom from proverbs and choosing to follow God's lead for what a wife's role looks like. Mike is always willing to help out when I need it or on the days I decide to be "self- righteous" but I find when I change my focus to serving God not only am I immediately humbled but I enjoy doing it even more.

4. Proverbs 31:10-33 * Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character*

  ^"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her  and lacks nothing of value.She brings him good, not harm,  all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously;her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed;  she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate,  where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them,  and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.  She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed;  her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things,  but you surpass them all.”  Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;  but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. "

I love this! Look at all the hard work this women does, you could totally focus on that. Instead focus on all she gets from that work- she is worth more than rubies, her husband has FULL confidence in her, she has no fear about the future but laughs and is clothed with strength and dignity. She speaks wisdom that brings glory to Christ and respect to her family, her children call her blessed and her husband praises her with words so encouraging and appreciative. I want to be this wife, truly. To have my family respected, my husband love me and my children call me blessed- there is simply no greater honor. All else will fade away but this woman will be sustained by Christ for she submits, respects and follows the Lord regardless of worldly views- absolutely goodness right there.

4. It pushes me to be more like Christ, any Christian's ultimate goal. More of Him, less of me. The great news is the Lord has gone before us and He cared enough to give us a path to be more and more like Him."These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33. As I heard in an example this Sunday -  At the end of it all our goal is to chip away everything that is not of Christ- Jesus he served and submitted faithfully. Take joy that He is changing you to be more like him- for it is hard now in this world, but blessed will we be when we stand before Him.

Ultimately, I believe in the role of a wife. I truly love serving my husband in these ways because I dearly love him. Every marriage will look different, every husband and wife will have different expectations. None of that is wrong. However, for all the wives out there, myself included, who enjoy being "that wife" or strive to be "that wife" - this is just a sweet reminder for why we do it. I know it encouraged me today!

In His grace,

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"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

Thinking back I can't remember if I have mentioned that Michael and I are part of something called a foundation group. It's a community group that is put together through our church- Watermark- with five other couples and a mentor couple. For 18 months we go through curriculum designated by Watermark and are coached on it by our mentors in order to best prepare us as Newlyweds for our marriages to last and on how to live in community, and do it well. At the end of those 18 months it is the hope that we will continue on as a community group apart from our mentors. I will say that it hands down has bettered our marriage, friendships, lives, thought process and most importantly walk with Christ more than any other single thing. We are big supporters. 

So far we have read When Sinners Say I Do and followed Watermark's own financial curriculum MoneyWise. Now we are into this little wonder called The Lasting Promise. It is about all thing communication! So as a guy in our mentor's community group said the definition of good communication can be put up to Ephesians 4:29. Wholeheartedly agree. With that said, we are on an adventure to memorize it. I put it as a post-it on my office computer which has done wonders, as well as left the email with just the scripture address in my inbox so I am reminded daily to think of it and try to repeat it back. Oh the tricks of years worth of studying for exams!

The first time I really took this verse in, it was actually on the table at our foundation group leaders home- the dinning room table. What a glorious idea. Tables are where people talk the great, the good and unfortunately the bad and nasty. It's most commonly surrounded by family or close friends and seems like a safe place to let it all out. However, this comes with the ability for the line between chat that builds others up and gossip to be seriously grayed quite easily. With no negative intentions at all it goes from a simple conversation about a low point in a day, or a topic on mind to a full on tear down sesh about whatever may have caused that. However, I wonder what that would look like if every time you looked up from your place your eyes were smack dab faced with scripture.  I bet you would think twice, I would. 

Along with the dinning room table encouragement this verse also gives pure general encouragement and guidelines for what Godly communication looks like. Imagine how much our conversations would alter if all we spoke were words that would build others up. Imagine how those around us would feel, good I bet. Imagine what our spouses would be like towards us, how well they would take our words into consideration, the love our marriage would pour out. All due to the knowledge that the words being spoken were only for that single purpose of encouraging and making each other stronger in faith and more Christlike. Such good stuff!

These reasons alone along with the pure joy in engraving God's Word on my heart makes me pumped to get the chance to add it to my scripture memory bank with my fellow friends, I love being in this as a team and growing in our walks together. Not only is it nice accountability but its fun to look back and see how much we've walked through together and how rockin' our marriages are going to be with such lessons as this one! 

xoxo



 

enough said. 
 i love us credit...

Well. Michael and I have officially been married one year and six months. Every time I say that I have to laugh a little as I hear that child in me saying "I am three and a half!" or even the adult now "I am five foot one and three quarters!" There is something about that extra half that makes a difference. When I was talking to a friend of mine this week about plans for the weekend I said we were booked up Saturday as we were being dorks and celebrating our anniversary. She kindly responded "Not dorks, sweet!" which led to my response of admitting it was only the half way anniversary mark. "Okay, dorks, but still sweet!"

It got me thinking though and the more I thought about it the more I realized that in today's world that extra half really does mean something. To easily people are divorcing left and right and choosing to put themselves first, thinking they "just don't fit" or believing they are not like those couples who have made it 25+ years (shout-out to the in-laws!!!!), they convince themselves they just are not meant to be.

Let me tell you something, marriage is not easy, it is a full time job which takes most of your effort and on some days can drain you to the pit. Michael and I have gone through high waters and back discovering just how trying those moments can be -I know, your thinking it hasn't even been two years, but you would be surprised all we've fought through, hence the name Team Tuohy- and we are no different than any other couple. The piece that is different was in the simple choice we made on that September afternoon that divorce was simply not an option. The moment it becomes an option, you have set yourself up to fail. Think about it, if you knew it was impossible, would you not work a heck of a lot harder to push through it so you were happy and not miserable? I sure would, I sure do.

 Marriage is about selflessness, it is about choosing daily to put someone else before yourself. That can be a hard pill to swallow, especially if you go into marriage not knowing how selfish we all truly are on our own! Which leads me to the ultimate single reason we are here today to celebrate. It is only because of our sweet sweet Savior who is teaching us daily what marriage is suppose to look like, how to be selfless. My favorite verses of scripture regarding this are found in Ephesians 5:22 (NIV) "Wives, submit to your own husbands as you do to the Lord" and on the flip Ephesians 5:25 (NIV) "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." Wow, as a wife that is huge!

As Michael and I study these scriptures among others it is amazing to see God transform our hearts for one another, to know that God created marriage as a physical symbol of Christ loving the Church, that is a lot of love right there to be seen between husband and wife. I know I sure feel loved when its like that. Just like it is amazing how responsive Mike is when I submit to him and let him lead our family. He feels respected and in turn loves me well. There are still trying times and of course we need to daily fix our eyes upon the Lord to stay strong in each part of this, but there are also those tender moments that are such sweet rewards and such eye opening times to how much we are loved by our Savior.

In today's world one year and six months is definitely worth celebrating, as is one day. That is one more day we get to feel the joy of this truly blessed thing God created for us, and one more day we get to glorify Him by being present in it. I once heard that your life may be the only Bible someone ever reads. I pray that when people see our marriages, that is exactly what they are getting a glimpse of, Him and His love.  Happy Anniversary to each one of you out there that have said "I do" and continue to say "I do" each day. May you all go celebrate tonight and praise God for whatever number you are at while loving your spouses well. As for Team Tuohy, Drive In here we come!!!!







 Some goodies from the engagement and wedding!